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In recent years, the negative impacts of social media on body image, mental health, and youths, in general, have been publicized across the internet. Just as social media consumes much of our lives now, TV shows and movies did the same when we were children, and they may have had similar negative impacts on our lives today. More specifically, those childhood shows and movies were full of toxic couples disguised in drama, passion, and excitement as perfect. So, many of us grew up idolizing those fictional couples. In doing so, we may have unintentionally programmed our minds to accept – and possibly even love – our own toxic relationships.
Five Toxic Couples
Toxic relationships take on many forms, with physically abusive ones being the most obvious. And, there is a long-standing debate on toxicity portrayed in Disney princess movies. However, in this article, I’ve tried to bring awareness to less obvious toxic couples. There are many different toxic couples in media, but I’ve handpicked five that showcase some red flags you can look out for in your own relationships. These red flags include lying, pressuring, insecurity, manipulation, and cheating.
Lying In Aladdin
About a princess and a “street rat,” Aladdin is a classic forbidden love, Romeo and Juliet (without the dying) type of story — these are the most dangerous kinds. It is too easy to get trapped in the excitement of Jasmine and Aladdin falling in love and having a beautiful magic carpet ride. Not only is it heart-warming that Aladdin broke Jasmine free from her normally boxed life, but the scene itself is colorful and mesmerizing. But, underlying all the excitement is the major issue that Aladdin lied to her the whole time.
Yes, it’s fun to see the genie make him a prince and to get to see his and Jasmine’s relationship blossom, but it is never good to begin a relationship on the foundation of a lie. Regardless of whether the lie came from a place of good intentions, if Aladdin is willing to lie about being a prince in order to be with Jasmine, he is likely willing to lie about a lot else to get what he wants. Perpetual lying leads to a lack of trust and honest communication in a relationship, and without those things, a relationship cannot be healthy.
Pressuring In The Princess Diaries
I’ll admit, I used to watch The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement over and over again because I loved to watch Mia go from liking Nicholas to hating him to loving him. I thought they were entirely adorable, and when he gave up his claim to the throne so that she could have it, my heart melted. All this to say, it breaks my heart to label them as one of my toxic couples, but I have to because of two particular events.
The first is at the garden party when Nicholas kisses Mia despite the fact that she is engaged to Nicholas, who is also at that party. Then, one night before Mia is to marry Andrew, Nicholas shows up at her palace and pressures her to sneak out with him. He then takes her on a romantic date consisting of secret-sharing, dancing, and cuddling. Wrapped up in the desire to have these two together instead of continuing Mia and Andrew’s boring relationship, many of us failed to see that Nicholas pressuring Mia and causing her to behave badly is not okay. Your partner should never pressure you to behave against your morals.
Insecurity In High School Musical
This one hurts a lot because most girls dreamed of being the Gabriella to their own Troy Bolton. Troy was the athlete and Gabriella was the nerd, but they broke each other out of their shells and sang before the entire school — their story just feels so heart-warming. Looking back at the High School Musical movies, though, I have to admit that Troy and Gabriella are a perfect example of toxic couples in childhood series. That is because insecurity plagues their relationship.
Take the time when he tells his teammates that he doesn’t care about Gabriella or the callbacks. Yes, Taylor and Chad set him up; and yes, he was practically pressured into saying that. Still, he also did not have enough security in his relationship with Gabriella to confess his feelings. Similarly, in High School Musical 2, when Sharpay tries to monopolize Troy’s time, Gabriella breaks up with him and quits her job at the country club. Instead of having the security in their relationship to talk it through with him and to recognize what Sharpay was doing, she breaks up with him. The situation was complicated on both ends, but healthy couples work things out together; toxic couples don’t.
Manipulation In Wizards Of Waverly Place
I used to think that Alex and Mason from Wizards Of Waverly Place were goals, particularly because I loved Alex and she loved Mason. What I failed to realize, though, is that Alex’s ability and willingness to manipulate people to get what she wants is not admirable, and it is not good for her relationship with Mason. These two have their fair share of problems, including Alex being embarrassed to walk with him in public when he is stuck in half-werewolf form, but it’s her manipulation that lands them in the toxic couples category.
One prime example is in the episode “Alex Gives Up” (Season 4, Episode 2), where Alex and Mason are on a boat with a girl that Alex really dislikes. Even though Mason doesn’t want to transform into his werewolf form, Alex manipulates him into doing so because she wants her revenge. She gets him to chase the girl off the boat, and she gets what she wants, but she does so at the expense of what Mason wants. In a relationship, you should not act solely in your own interest, and you certainly should not manipulate your partner into giving you what you want.
Cheating in Good Luck Charlie
This one is the most embarrassing for me to admit, but I loved Spencer and Teddy from Good Luck Charlie together. I blame the show for making them have such good chemistry and for making them look adorable when they sang together, but none of that detracts from the fact that I idolized one of Disney’s many toxic couples. Spencer literally cheated on Teddy! And then lied about it! Yet, so caught up in the drama, I still wanted them together.
I’m all for people growing up and changing and becoming better people, but it is very hard to argue that anyone should get back with an ex who cheated on him/her. It will not only leave a lot of insecurity in the relationship but it also subtly lets the cheater know that he/she can take advantage of his/her partner. Moreover, by getting back with the ex, the person who got cheated on accepts less love than he/she deserves. Personally, I think it is just better to move on without each other.
The Issue With Toxic Couples In The Media
It is no secret that the media (social media, TV, Hollywood) influences the way we perceive certain things. It is also no secret that if we grow up around toxic relationships, we will likely have our own down the line. So, it is not a far stretch to say that the fictional toxic couples we idolized as kids could very well have lead to us accepting our own toxic relationships. We chose to write this article because we wanted to bring attention to couples you probably idolized (we know we did) without knowing that they were not worthy of your support.
We hope that if you can see the red flags in those relationships, you can see red flags in your own relationships and get out of ones that are not good for you. Nevertheless, there are certain things that are appealing about toxic relationships and that blind us from the truth. So, we want to make you aware of those. But before we explain those, please don’t go about finding red flags that aren’t there – we don’t want to ruin good relationships). At the same time, though, please do not ignore ones if you do find them.
Toxic Couples Excite Us
Put simply, we idolize toxic couples on TV shows and in the movies because they are exciting. Doesn’t it make your heart race in TV shows when enemies become lovers? Or when couples break up over a misunderstanding and then get back together, proving how much they love each other? Don’t those couples make the most interesting “ships”?” Toxic couples equal drama, and drama ropes us in. As a result, toxic couples become popular.
In Aladdin, we got to see two people of drastically different classes fall in love. In The Princess Diaries, we got to see passionate hate turn into love between Mia and Nicholas. In High School Musical, we got to see opposites come together and change their school atmosphere. In Wizards Of Waverly Place, we also got to see opposites fall in love: a wizard and a werewolf. And in Good Luck Charlie, we got to see two people fall back in love after one made a horrible mistake.
All of that drama and excitement and passion drew us in and made us believe that that’s what true love looks like. Toxic relationships do that. In fact, according to psychologists, we get a rush of adrenaline when we don’t know if our relationship is going to work out or not, and adrenaline is addictive. In other words, we quite literally get addicted to toxic relationships. That’s why it is so important to understand red flags, particularly subtle ones: we need to know when we are addicted to something terrible for us.
Where Do We Go From Here?
We’re not going to tell you to stop watching shows and movies that showcase toxic couples. Drama is exciting and can offer us a break from reality. But, you should look at new fictional relationships with a grain of salt and re-evaluate the ones you idolized as a child.
Make sure that you don’t dream of seemingly good relationships for yourself that are actually bad. Make sure that you don’t accept less love than you deserve. And if you are a parent or a mentor, make sure you highlight unhealthy relationships to your children, so they don’t idolize such couples. We all deserve the best, remember that, and remind those around you.
