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The mockumentary sitcom Modern Family has finally concluded its ten-year run on ABC with eleven seasons and 250 episodes. With the end of Modern Family, it marks the end of an era for millions of families. The show became popular for its portrayal of realistic and relatable family dynamics. It is through this that viewers were able to connect with the characters and taught us several lessons while having us laugh along the way. In light of this, let’s take a look at what the show has taught us throughout its run.
How To Be A Parent In Your Modern Family
Being a parent is one of the most challenging things that people can go through. There is no solid methodology to follow other than trying your best and learning from any mistakes. Many books, television shows, and public speakers have all given their take on how to become the perfect parent. Modern Family explores this dynamic by exploring different parenting styles in an ever-changing society.
“Every new generation thinks they have cracked the code on child rearing.”- Claire Dunphy
Claire Dunphy
In the show’s exploration of being a parent in the modern era, all three families adopted a good cop/bad cop parenting style. Mitch, Claire, and Jay representing the controlling and attentive parents (bad cops). Cam, Phil, and Gloria represent lenient and permissive parents (good cops). Despite all three families sharing a similar parenting style, they accustom it to their situation and their children’s needs.
Phil & Claire
The Dunphy’s serve as an example of a traditional nuclear family. They also follow the dysfunctional family trope usually seen on sitcoms, with Phil serving as the ‘fun parent’ and Claire as the ‘helicopter mom’. They tried switching roles in the episode “Good Cop, Bad Dog,” but realized they cannot handle each other’s roles. This is because Phil wishes to recreate his fun childhood with his kids and Claire wants to ensure her kids won’t make the same mistakes as she did. This tells any prospective parents that they do not need to change who they are. As long as you and your partner agree to have the best interests for your children.
While Phil and Claire’s parenting dynamic represents a traditional style of parenting. It is one that teaches their kids how to act socially while being able to follow through with their responsibilities. Even though they have to face the challenges of parenting in the era of social media. They eventually incorporate the ever-developing modern tech into their daily lives and match it to their parenting style. In addition to following their dysfunctional habits, the show challenges and reinvents their tropes. For example, despite Phil’s goofy and lenient parenting style, he will assert discipline when it is absolutely necessary.
This sets him apart from the Homer Simpson trope because he will say what is necessary when his kids are spiraling down the wrong path. When Haley has to attend a disciplinary committee in order to stay in college, Phil scolds her about her nonchalant attitude towards the severity of the situation. She immediately got her act together and took responsibility for her actions. This tells the viewers that it is necessary to act outside your comfort zone for the sake of your children’s future.
Jay & Gloria
The Pritchett/ Delgado family serves as an example of a non-traditional step-family. Gloria and Manny represented a single-parent family until Jay married Gloria and shared responsibility as one of Manny’s legal guardian. As the number of divorces increases every year, this family dynamic explores the challenges and benefits behind a step-family. One of the reasons, Jay and Gloria’s marriage works is because they both fulfilled something the other wants. It was eventually revealed that Gloria divorced her husband due to his irresponsibility. Meanwhile, Jay divorced his wife because of genuine differences. It is through Jay’s maturity and Gloria’s genuine feeling/s that they are the reasons why their marriage works.
Gloria’s parenting style is giving constant positive reinforcement to Manny, telling him that he is perfect in everything he does. This kind of parenting style leads me to believe that Manny will be filled with self-confidence. However, this backfires and Manny is identified as a ‘Momma’s Boy.’ Jay, on the other hand always pushes Manny to act his age and to be more assertive like a man. This parenting style is more in line with what Jay learned from his father, who treated him similarly during his childhood.
Jay and Gloria’s parenting represents two sides of very extreme ideologies between smothering and calloused parenting. They continually debate that their method is the best way to raise Manny. What they soon realize is that the best method of raising Manny is the combination of both styles. That way, he will be able to venture any challenges he wants like a man. If he fails, he knows that his parents will always be there for him, encouraging him to try again. Informing the viewers that there is no one true method of raising a kid, but combining different parenting styles.
Mitchell & Cameron
The Pritchett-Tucker family serves as another form of a non-traditional family dynamic, a homosexual family household. They represent a family that goes against the traditional nuclear family trope. In the show, however, they reinvent the status quo of what it means to be a modern family.
The challenges of parenting are just the same no matter where you are on the spectrum. While there are numerous arguments facing the LGBT community about same-sex parenting, the series represents them as normal and loving as any heterosexual parent. Acknowledging how their lifestyle is different compared to traditional heterosexual households, they educate any cultural and societal differences to their adopted daughter, Lily so that she doesn’t feel left out or displaced in any way.
When it comes to their parenting styles, Mitchell takes after his father’s parenting by serving as the traditional role of the calloused parent trying to teach self-sufficiency. In comparison, Cam takes a permissive style where he coddles Lily and is very responsive to her needs and wishes. This resulted in Cam staying at home more often and taking on the role of a stay-at-home dad. However, later seasons changed this dynamic when Mitchell quit his job and the two became dual-income households.
They eventually share responsibilities in raising their daughter. The two frequently try out multiple different trending parenting techniques to raise Lily. This comes in the shapes of child leashes, positive reinforcement of the word ‘adoption’, and creating personalized children’s books. This shows the viewers that there is no methodical way to raise a child, but by spending the time and effort to research new methods defines what good parents people you can potentially be.
Anyone Can Be Your Modern Family
Modern Family showcases its diverse cast and unifies them as a loving family. It tells the viewers that anybody can be your family no matter what kind of background you come from. As long as you keep an open mind and be loving and accepting.
“Family is family. Whether it’s the one you start out with… the one you end up with… or the family you gain along the way.” – Gloria Pritchett
Gloria Pritchett
Gloria
Jay and Gloria’s relationship can be easily judged as an old man and a gold digger scenario. While the show addresses this issue, it discredits this stereotypical image by showing the genuine relationship between Jay and Gloria. Claire was especially guilty of this, because she thought that Gloria was a gold digger for the first season.
When Claire and Gloria confront this issue, she comes to terms with it after finding out how Gloria makes her father happy. Despite their age difference, Jay and Gloria are passionately crazy about each other and prove everyone wrong. This tells the viewer that genuine feelings for one another is what creates a family, no matter how old you are.
Manny
At the beginning of the series, Jay adjusts to raising Manny as his step-son. At the same time, Manny tries to determine whether Jay is different from the other guys that her mother used to date. In addition, Jay’s attempt to get along with Manny presents the struggles of bonding between a step-father and a step-son.
Despite their differences in each other’s hobbies and interests, Manny realizes how much Jay cares for him when Jay calls him ‘his kid.’ After hearing this, Manny accepts Jay as a father figure and someone who is good enough for his mother. He always depends on Jay for fatherly advice on whatever social problems he faces. This father/son relationship tells the viewer that anybody can be your family, as long as there is mutual love and respect for each other.
Lily
Being adopted from Vietnam by two gay men, Lily always knew she was different from her parents and other families. Her curiosity about her non-traditional household comes up a lot in the early seasons. Mitch and Cam try their best to answer any questions that she has and several moments throughout the show highlight her feeling of being too different from her family.
One of the topics that was discussed was when she called herself gay in the early seasons. However, this was soon revealed to be a simple misunderstanding, because she mistook being gay as an ethnicity. Realizing that she doesn’t have a traditional ethnic connection to her fathers, she announced that she is gay so she would have more things in common with her fathers. In later seasons, however, Lily becomes more understanding of her upbringing and embraces that she is different from her fathers. At the end of the day, she knows that family is not restricted by blood, but family is the people who love and support you.
Watch Your Wording
The show follows a narrative formula for when each character gets into comedic scenarios, mainly due to their misunderstanding and their wording. They show the viewers the importance of watching their wording because it can easily be taken out of context and bring some awkward social situations. Some like:
- “If you ain’t white, you ain’t right!”- Phil Dunphy
- “I think we would all be better off if people would go back where they came from”- Cameron Tucker
- “What could be more natural than your mother’s tongue in your ear?”- Gloria Pritchett
- “I love film-making and I love love. I guess you could say I enjoy making love on film and I love doing it by myself.”- Phil Dunphy
- “Luke, grab that little hoe.”- Claire Dunphy
- “On my lower back, I will put the words “Go Deep.”- Phil Dunphy
A Modern Family Always Comes First
In the series premiere, the viewers are introduced to all three families and see what kind of people they are. Everyone in the main cast is uniquely different from each other and they all have differing opinions. Despite their differences, the audience quickly learns that everyone in the main cast will put family above all else.
Jay Vs Mitchell
One of the longest narratives that the show was portraying was Jay and Mitchell’s straining relationship. Jay has always expressed his discomfort at having a gay son and everything that comes along with it. When gay marriage was legalized, Jay expresses that he has done his best to be supportive of him, but in the season five episode, “Message Received,” Jay admits that he doesn’t understand gay marriage and argues that Mitchell doesn’t try enough to make Jay comfortable with his marriage by saying:
“Why do you get to be you, but I don’t get to be me. I didn’t choose to be uncomfortable. I was born this way”.
Jay Pritchett
After hearing this, Mitchell uninvited his father to his wedding and wanted him out of his life for being unable to accept him for who he is. However, after a series of unfortunate events on the day of their wedding, Jay sees that they are struggling to keep everything together.
Despite his personal views of gay marriage and Mitchell’s homosexuality, Jay can’t stand seeing his son miserable on what is supposed to be the happiest day of his life. He sets aside his views and accepts Mitchell and Cameron for who they are and gives them the best wedding ever by booking it at his favorite country club. Proud of Mitchell for finding his partner for life, he walks him down the aisle to showcase his acceptance.
Love/Hate Sisterhood
Haley and Alex’s relationship portrays a very relatable experience of a sibling rivalry. The two bickered, fought, and always got back at each other every chance they could. This was due to their personalities and values being opposite to each other. As Haley prioritized social relationships, Alex, on the other hand, focused more on academics. It was only until later seasons that they became more supportive of each other.
They value each other’s advice and moral support for personal issues that other members of the family can’t understand. While Haley is aware of her ditzy, air-headed nature, it makes her feel like a family failure. Meanwhile, Alex understands her inability to make friends and struggles with loneliness. This is where the two sisters set aside their petty arguments and help each other where the other fails. Haley advises Alex with her social life to have friends and boyfriends. Alex encourages Haley to realize her true potential and breaks out of her self-conscious image. Despite all of their petty arguments, the two can always depend on each other when they need it the most.
Entrust The New Generation
Throughout the show’s goofy and situational comedy, it sprinkles in sweet wholesome moments that make us want to tell our family how much we care about them. The most consistent episodes of the series that draw out these emotions are the ones where the themes of death and legacy are brought up. These episodes portray a touching narrative of entrusting future generations to hold up their legacy and values. It taught us what kind of qualities we want to pass down and entrust to the future generations of our family.
Entrusting Modern Family Values
Alex has always been the ‘smart one’ in the entire family and has always striven to be the best at everything she sets her mind out to. However, when Alex gets accepted into Cal Tech, she worries that she is going to be the dumbest one there and fail miserably. Jay truthfully tells her that it’s going to be extremely challenging, but encourages her to keep going.
In addition to his advice, Jay also shows her the family endlessly bickering and fighting amongst each other. He tells her that the family needs a leader and entrusts her to keep the family in check and together once he is gone. Acknowledging that Alex is capable enough to handle whatever challenges come her way, whether it is school or family. Jay passing down the title of the family patriarch to Alex when he passes symbolizes that he sees a lot of potential in Alex.
“The family needs a leader and I can’t do it forever. You can handle it.” – Jay Pritchett
Jay Pritchett
Alex striving in her academics provides her family with an objective source of knowledge to their problems. Through her competency, she is able to protect the family from their own misunderstandings. Jay sees this and trusts her to keep the family from dwindling apart from petty arguments. It is a role that protects the loving family relationship that they all have with each other and it is something Jay wants to be maintained as long as possible, because not every family has the same loving dynamic as they do.
Entrusting Legacy
Phil and his father Frank have always shown their ideal father/son relationship in the show. It portrays a fun and goofy relationship that viewers can immediately tell where Phil has gotten his lovable optimism from. Phil always calls Frank the best father he could ever have, and he tries to be the best fun-dad for his kids like Frank has been for him. However, there were several moments throughout the show where Phil felt like he had let his father down.
One of these moments is when Phil felt guilty about not inheriting the family supermarket. Frank assures Phil he has inherited the family business of being a fun, cool dad. Inheriting the optimistic, goofy qualities that Phil always loved during his childhood was the best thing he ever could have proudly inherited from his father. This meant that he was officially like his father in the fun dad department and it also meant he could pass down the same lovable qualities and memories to his children. It tells us that passing down those fun experiences and lovable qualities about our parents are the best way to remember them.
Farewell To Modern Family
Modern Family has dominated as the go-to television sitcom for a decade, and it has taught all of its viewers about the importance of family and never giving up on them. The last season of the series reminds everyone about how the show is concluding and wraps up any remaining story arcs. While fans all over are saddened to see the series end, the important thing to remember is this:
“Life is full of change. Some big, some small. You can fight it or you can try to make the best of it. And that’s all a lot easier if you’ve got people who love you, helping you face whatever life throws at you.” – Jay Pritchett
Jay Pritchett
