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In a 2009 interview for MTV, Fleetwood Mac’s Stevie Nicks said the following about her on-and-off relationship and tragic romance with ex-band member Lindsey Buckingham:
“It’s over. It doesn’t mean the great feeling isn’t there, it must mean that … you know, we’re beauty and the beast. It means that the love is always there but we’ll never be together, so that’s even more romantic.”
—Stevie Nicks (( Stolz, Kim. “Fleetwood Mac’s Stevie Nicks Dishes On Her Relationship With Lindsey Buckingham.” MTV, 10 April 2009. ))
Stevie and Lindsey had a wild, tumultuous relationship that took place directly in the center of one of the most famous bands of all time. Hugely popular songs, like “Dreams,” (( Fleetwood Mac. “Dreams.” Warner Bros, 1977. )) “Landslide,” (( Fleetwood Mac. “Landslide.” Warner Bros, 1975. )) and “Silver Springs,” (( Fleetwood Mac. “Silver Springs.” Warner Bros, 1977. )) came directly out of that relationship, written by Stevie and Lindsey about each other.
These are songs from an album that won Fleetwood Mac their second Grammy. (( Grammy Awards. “Fleetwood Mac,” 15 October 2023. )) These are songs that people still know; are now playing at weddings; in coffee shops; and everywhere else. Are those breakup songs written by Stevie and Lindsey about each other more romantic than the classic love songs because of what Nicks said? Are real-life and fictional stories about people who remain in love but do not end up together even more romantic than classic love songs? If so, let’s explore how this is possible.
The “Tragic Romance”
Although the tragedy existed long before his time, William Shakespeare most likely popularized the classic romantic tragedy we recognize today with Romeo and Juliet. (( Shakespeare, William. Romeo and Juliet. Oxford, 1597. )) Two characters fall deeply in love, and due to large, tragic events or circumstances, cannot end up together.
In Romeo and Juliet, Romeo commits suicide due to a miscommunication that leads him to believe that Juliet is dead. In Titanic (1997), Jack and Rose cannot be together because the Titanic tragically wrecks and Jack gives his life for Rose. (( Cameron, James, director. Titanic. 20th Century, 1997. )) Even in more recent stories, like The Fault In Our Stars by John Green, Hazel and Gus also cannot be together because one of them passes away. (( Green, John. The Fault In Our Stars. Penguin Books, 2012. ))
A large aspect of these classic tragic romances is the concept of fate. This comes from the Romeo and Juliet blueprint, in which the two lovers were destined to meet and experience tragedy, and the pain they experience is simply fate running its course. In the famous prologue of the play, there is the line “A pair of star-cross’d lovers take their life,” which is where the popular term “star-crossed” originated from.
There are also multiple points in the play where Romeo references the stars: such as right before he goes to the Capulet ball, when he thinks that there is “some consequence hanging in the stars,” and when he learns Juliet is dead and yells:
“I defy you, stars!”
Though Romeo attempts to do literally whatever it takes to be with Juliet, they are simply fated for tragedy and there is no way for them to avoid that. There is no possible ending where Romeo and Juliet could have ended up together, due to their fates already being set.
And because Romeo and Juliet popularized the story, there is a similar sentiment in the tragic romance stories that have followed. The characters are destined to meet and fall in love but also destined for tragedy.
Past Lives (2023) & The “Modern Tragic Romance”
Recently, it seems like we have seen an emergence in what I’ll refer to as the “modern tragic romance.” In the modern tragic romance, the couple is not separated by some cataclysmic event, but instead, by mundane life circumstances: maybe it’s moving away from each other, going to college, or having a disagreement over something small. The story will still imply that the characters are meant to be together (or at the very least still have strong feelings for each other), and would be if this thing hadn’t gotten in the way.
This was the case in the extremely popular movie La La Land (2016), in which Seb and Mia separated so that they could both pursue their dreams (( Chazelle, Damien, director. La La Land. Lionsgate, 2016. )), as well as in the popular novel and later adapted tv series Normal People (2020), in which Marianne and Connell broke up because they wanted to live in different countries. (( Rooney, Sally, creator. Normal People. Hulu, 2020. ))
Recently, A24 released their own modern tragic romance, which, like La La Land and Normal People, has also done well with audiences and critics. Past Lives (2023) came out this summer, and it follows childhood friends Nora and Hae Sung throughout multiple points in their lives. (( Song, Celine, director. Past Lives. A24, 2023. )) They clearly always had a magnetic type of chemistry with each other, but were never in the same place at the same time. After Nora has gotten married to a different man, they find their way back to each other and essentially ask “what if?”
What if they lived in the same place, what if they fell in love, what if they ended up together? What if things worked out differently? They both are grieving what their lives could have been. Past Lives is a beautiful movie, from the acting to the writing to just how realistic it feels. It’s a great example of a modern tragic romance done beautifully.
After watching Past Lives, we realized something: that these modern tragedies feel even more devastating and heartbreaking than the classic tragic romance — somehow they feel even more impactful — but why?
What Makes The “Modern Tragedy” So Impactful?
The reason this kind of story is so impactful is because we do not like “not knowing.” We want to know the answers to random questions we type into Google, like “How old was the oldest person?” or “Who is [insert celebrity here] dating?” We want to know what the weather is, and if we got the job, and what the time is, and how much time we have left — and we can know all of that eventually. But we will never, ever know what might have happened if we made a different decision, or ended up with a different person.
When a movie or a book ends with a definitive ending: that these two people lived happily ever after, they broke up forever and moved on, or they are star-crossed like Romeo and Juliet and they were always meant to meet an end; we are satisfied, even if we are sad about it. We feel like that story is thematically over and we all breathe a sigh of relief. But when it ends somewhere in between: these two characters are not physically together, but are forever tied by the invisible string of their nostalgic past and still exchange heavy, lingering glances; we are very, very upset.
We want them to try out that “what-if” again. We want them to find out the answer to if they are supposed to be together or not. There are some people who dislike these ambiguous “what-if” endings, but we think that is because up until pretty recently, a lot of them were just by-products of poor writing rather than intentional choices that add to the story.
But what makes stories like Past Lives or Normal People unique is that they set out to explore the heartbreak and grief of the two characters, rather than just inflicting them with it in order to provide an ending.
The Powerful Romance In The “What If?”
These emotions, both of the characters and the audiences not knowing, are so much deeper and more complex than happily ever after or moving on. There is so much more intrigue, so much more romance in it. The idea that even though things didn’t work out and the characters do not have any obligation to care or wonder about each other, they still do — contains so, so much love in it. Of course, there is an incredibly romantic quality about a love that lasts for life, about a love that is anything but tragic.
But there is an inherent romance mixed with a deep grief in the what-ifs. If love is one of the strongest emotions we as humans can feel, the absence of love is even deeper, even more powerful. At the end of La La Land, Mia enters Seb’s jazz club with her husband. Even though she is now married and has a child, she still looks at Seb as he plays piano and wonders: what if it was him instead? And because we have been following Mia and Seb’s story for the majority of the movie, we feel the weight of their eye contact during this scene. They don’t just miss each other, they are grieving who they could have been both as individuals and as a couple if they stayed together.
We won’t spoil Past Lives because it is an amazing watch, but it ends with a similar depth of emotion that leaves so much unknown — both to the audience and the characters. We love watching and reading about what makes us feel the most deeply, and a modern tragic romance combines all of the most powerful emotions we can feel: nostalgia, regret, grief, and love. All at the same time. There is no feeling deeper, more layered, more powerful than wondering about a different outcome of a love you no longer have.
The Value In “Relatability“
In addition, the “what-if” is something we probably all can relate to in one way or another. Not everyone loses their star-crossed, forbidden love that they had a whirlwind romance with to a shipwreck. But everyone — everyone — wonders what-if. What if we messaged back that friend we’d lost touch with? What if we sat next to a different person on the first day of class? What if we never said that one thing that upset them, that ended things?
Life is an infinite web of what-ifs, and we are only allowed to know what happens with a handful of them. No wonder we are so curious, no wonder we grieve so much for all the lives that we might have led. We feel most deeply connected to the things we relate to, which is why when we hear songs like “Silver Springs,” or watch tragic romance movies like Past Lives, we don’t just feel devastated for the characters — but for ourselves as well.