The Dehumanizing Characterizations Of The “‘Hate-able’ Female Character”

The story follows the standard plot arc: girl meets boy, girl falls in love with boy, boy makes mistake, boy makes grand gesture, girl forgives boy, and the pair live happily ever after. This attitude does not always hold true when the storyline is reversed and the girl is at fault, where the audience’s reaction is completely flipped and the girl is deemed unredeemable.

Viewers are so quick to dislike a female character and value a male character. Audiences consistently give out different treatments to female and male characters, having the female character consistently getting the harsher end of it. What are the reasons for the harsh criticism directed toward these characters, or is it just a matter of their gender?

Gilmore Girls (2000-2007): Boys, Coffee, & Downfalls

Gilmore Girls (2000-2007) was a feel-good television show that focused on the lives of the mother-daughter duo, Rory and Lorelei Gilmore. The television series featured adorable relationships, family stories, and a heavy dose of coffee. Rory, introduced in her sophomore year of high school, had a rather drastic shift in her character as the story went on to her college graduation, going from a sweet book-loving girl to stealing a yacht.

By the end of the seventh season, Rory Gilmore switching the tassel to the left side was far different from the girl the viewers met during the first episode, leaving many strong, negative opinions of her. When discussing the downfall of Rory Gilmore, many may claim that the season four finale, “Raincoats and Recipes” was the major turning point for her character, where she reunites with her former boyfriend Dean, despite him having a wife, an act that is completely out of character from her normal caring and cautious self.

Rory Gilmore’s Side

In the earlier portions of the show, Rory was in a relationship with Dean Forester, a boy who arrived just when she was switching schools to attend a private academy to better prepare for her Ivy League future. Despite being at separate schools, their relationship remained strong until the new bad boy, Jess Mariano, showed up in town and immediately hit it off with Rory, bonding over their shared love for literature.

Rory and Jess dated for a short period of time, and their relationship ended with him running away to California, leaving her behind and heartbroken. This sent Rory spiraling, causing her to not be exactly sure where to go from that point, as she had devoted such a large part of her life to someone who had just up and left. Now she was left trying to figure out how to handle her future and figure out who she was as a person without Jess.

Rory soon left for college and slowly worked through Jess’s leaving, but was mainly overwhelmed by her new environment, where she felt like she was drowning. Through this time, she ended up becoming close with Dean once again, despite him now being married to a woman named Lindsay. It is evident, however, that there is still a spark between them, and the two end up sleeping together and continuing their affair for some time until Rory inadvertently reveals the secret to Lindsay with a letter.

During this situation, Rory said one of her most infamous lines that viewers to this day still cringe at:

“He’s Dean, my Dean.”

(( “Raincoats and Recipes.” Gilmore Girls, season 4, episode 22, Warner Bros. Television Network, 18 May 2004. Netflix. ))

He was, in fact, not her Dean, but at that moment, she truly did believe that they were meant to be together. 

Rory’s Side Explained…

The main reason why viewers dislike Rory in regard to the affair was the fact that Dean was married. Although initially, Rory saw no harm in what they had done, regardless of how infidelity is never honorable in any situation, she did eventually come to realize the true impact and wrongfulness of what had occurred.

At the time, she was suffering at school, feeling as if she would always be inferior to those around her, as well as still getting over the pain she had experienced from Jess leaving, and when Dean showed back up in her life, he became a lifeboat for her. It was easy for her to fall for him once again when he was providing the support she so desperately needed. When people look at the situation, they do not see a girl struggling with finding her place in the world and having her heart go back to someone she had once loved before, they only see a selfish brat who slept with a married man.

Dean Forester’s Side: “But If It Were Dean!”

Viewers despised Rory for sleeping with Dean and criticized every bit of her character for what happened but had little to say about Dean’s role in the situation. This likely is in relation to how Dean was treated as a very minor character in the show by the fifth season, and the plot heavily focused on Rory, so there was more opportunity for hatred to develop around her with more of her life being shown on screen.

However, if Dean were the main character and the show and the screen time were focused on him and his perspective, would the hateful sentiment still be the same, or would television audiences stick to their more standard practice of quickly forgiving and forgetting when a male main character cheats on their significant other to be with someone else?

Derek Shepherd & Meredith Grey: Grey’s Anatomy (2005–)

Take, for example, Derek Shepherd from Grey’s Anatomy (2005–), who cheated on his wife to be with the new Seattle Grace Hospital intern, Meredith Grey, without his wife or Meredith being aware. Viewers found no real issue with this situation and instead found it “swoon-worthy” that Shepherd would engage in infidelity to be with his newest love. This is a stark difference from the treatment of Rory, who believed she was in love with Dean and was blinded by her sadness and flurry of confused emotions.

There was no praise for her in the situation — unlike the reactions given to Shepherd — she only received hate that stuck to her character for the remainder of the show. Although neither character in these examples should have gotten off scot-free and a certain level of criticism was warranted, the treatment given to both of them should have been equal, rather than the female character receiving significantly more long-term negativity than the male character, who did an action just as bad, if not worse.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999): “10 Things I Hate About Bianca Stratford”

10 Things I Hate About You (1999; Gil Junger), was a late-nineties romantic comedy film that was brought back to popularity through the social media platform “TikTok,” which features two relationship storylines for sisters Bianca and Kat Stratford.

Bianca, the younger of the two, is a gorgeous high school sophomore who is highly sought after by the boys in her school, including the new kid, Cameron James. When Cameron first arrives at Padua High School, he immediately becomes infatuated with Bianca the first time he sees her walk by — a classic case of love at first sight. Unfortunately for him, however, Bianca’s father has a strict no-dating rule that involves her not being able to date anyone until her angsty older sister does.

In order to get a shot with Bianca, Cameron hatches an elaborate plan with fellow student Joey Donner, who is also after Bianca’s heart, to get Kat a boyfriend so Bianca will be allowed to date. Bianca goes along with his scheming efforts, as she had her eye on a certain someone and wanted to be able to pursue the relationship. This certain someone, though, was not Cameron — it was Joey.

Bianca and Cameron do get together in the end, but many viewers criticize her for using him to get a chance with Joey. The major claim is that it was unfair to string him along without the intention of dating him, despite all of the efforts he was putting in. That is a valid accusation, but this storyline of a person using someone to get with someone else and ending up falling for the person they had been using has been seen before and has not always had this same criticism. 

Kat, Bianca, Cameron, & Patrick’s Storylines

In fact, that storyline exists somewhat in the other half of the movie, within Kat’s storyline. Cameron’s plan is centered around finding a boyfriend for Kat so that Bianca will be allowed to date, and he does this by paying the school’s bad boy, Patrick Verona, to pursue Kat. Patrick takes that five hundred dollar offer and begins to flirt with Kat, take her on dates, and even kiss her. Throughout their storyline, he does end up falling for her, and they go down as one of the most iconic couples in the 1990s film.

With such admiration for this couple, it is frequently forgotten that the whole reason they got together was that Kat was being used by Patrick to get some quick money. No one ever finds an issue with him doing this, saying his actions were excused because he ended up truly wanting to be with her. This is hypocritical, seeing that Bianca also ended up wanting to be with Cameron rather than Joey, but instead of being praised, she is cut down by viewers who call her self-centered and underserving of Cameron. 

Kat was also used not only by Patrick but by Cameron as well. Cameron also took advantage of her and played with her emotions, paying a guy to take her out just so he could have a chance with Bianca. Viewers saw this as being a romantic effort, seeing him try his hardest to have a shot with the girl he has a crush on, rather than seeing it as him playing a role in hurting someone else.

That makes not just one, but two male characters who used a girl for their own benefit in the same movie. Neither of these characters ever receives any hate for their actions, and instead, all of that hate is pushed on Bianca for doing a similar thing. 

Is It Valid — Or Just The Female Character?

Women often experience a great deal of hate in television and film, significantly more than men. To audiences, it does not seem to matter whether or not the female character’s actions are justifiable or forgivable, regardless of the context of the situation. If a female character makes a mistake, no matter how minor or major, it will not be forgotten. Take Rory Gilmore for one; her affair with Dean is still talked about to this day, despite her growth because of it and from it.

Dean, on the other hand, is only really talked about in regard to his early appearances in the show, not about him cheating on his wife. Viewers will forgive and forget the male characters, but one mistake with a female character, and they are branded for life it seems.

Perhaps this seems like a ridiculous concern, since what is the big deal if people forgive male characters more readily than female characters? Except that it does say a lot about how society views men and women. Women are so quickly put down and are forever haunted by their mistakes, no matter what they do to try to mend the damage and how much they have grown from that point.

They constantly must have their guard up to not do anything to draw negative attention, as they know that as soon as they slip up, it will stick with them for far longer than it should. This unfortunate social norm is only promoted even further through popular culture, in movies and television shows, through the audience’s reactions to characters’ actions, and results in more insecurities and lower self-esteem in women and young girls. Organization “More Self Esteem” cites that “70% of girls do not consider themselves good enough,” (( Perera , Karl. “Self Esteem Facts and Statistics.” More Self Esteem, More Self Esteem, 3 Mar. 2022, https://more-selfesteem.com/more-self-esteem/building-self-esteem/what-is-self-esteem/self-esteem-facts-and-statistics/#:~:text=70%25%20of%20girls%20do%20not,boys%20at%20the%20same%20age. )) a statistic that is both sad and worrisome, continuing to allow this social protocol and standard to exist.

Are Rory & Bianca Deserving Of Hate?

To further emphasize this point, Bianca Stratford and Rory Gilmore are two perfect examples of the unfair judgment given to female characters for mistakes also made by male characters, who get by with a slight slap on the wrist. While Rory from Gilmore Girls was condemned for her affair with Dean, harsh judgments remained with her for the remainder of the series (from that point onwards), Dean was simply forgotten, and when remembered, he was remembered with his charming smiles and sweet romantic gestures from his early-season “glory days.”

These are two totally different treatments that resulted from the same infraction in which two individuals were involved: a man and a woman who were in a relationship together. Yet, for some reason, the woman in the situation receives hatred for the role she played, whereas the man is simply forgiven and forgotten, despite the fact that he played a similar, if not a more significant role. As for Bianca in 10 Things I Hate About You, she did the exact same thing as Cameron did — used someone to get closer to someone else — but viewers only criticized her and treated Cameron as though his actions were only romantic and thoughtful, even though he paid someone to take Kat out on a date in order to get to know Bianca.

There is no question that Bianca was wrong to play along with Cameron’s efforts to get close to Joey, but why does Cameron not receive any criticism for doing the same? The public sees Bianca as someone who takes advantage of others to achieve her goals, and Cameron as the perfect man, but there are many similarities between the two.

The Fate Of Female Characters In Popular Culture

Sadly, both of these instances demonstrate the double standard set up for women and men, where both can make the same mistake, but only the woman is subject to the consequences for the rest of her life.

Rory was involved in an affair, which resulted in her being considered “destroyed.” Dean was involved in an affair, which resulted in him being considered “misguided.” Bianca used someone and was regarded as “selfish.” Cameron used someone and was regarded as “romantic.”

The same situation consistently produces different reactions that just so happen to always differ based on gender.

What Is The Big Deal?

Increasingly, viewers grow to hate female characters and love their male counterparts, increasing the likelihood that this ideology will spread into the real world. To achieve a society where men and women are treated equally in all aspects, efforts must be made in all facets of life, even when watching a mindless sitcom; it is an integral part of popular culture.

A person should think more critically about why they feel the way they do about a character rather than making a quick, harsh judgment of them that will never be retracted. People often claim to hold men and women equally, but they quickly forget that notion when responding to the storyline of a character. The treatment of women on screen and in real life is inequitable.