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It is not uncommon to watch a movie or TV show or read a book about a couple whose age gap is at least one year apart. Some couple’s age difference is five, ten, or even twenty years apart. There are conflicting opinions about whether relationships between teens and adults are acceptable are not. Some think they’re okay as long as the two people are in love with each other, and there’s mutual respect. Others, however, do not condone relationships between an adult and a teen for various reasons. We’ll delve into relationships with age gaps portrayed in fictional entertainment and why fans should avoid romanticizing such relationships.
The Relationship Between Adults & Teens (In Fiction!)
Relationships with an age gap in entertainment have existed for decades in several countries. For example, many Japanese mangas/animes have created stories with couples that consist of a teen and an adult. The reason for this could be because the age of consent in Japan is 13. Not every Japanese person agrees with these kinds of relationships, but some do.
A very notable manga/anime that showcases a relationship with an age gap is the critically acclaimed Sailor Moon series. The main character Sailor Moon is a 14-year old girl who falls in love with 18-year-old Tuxedo Mask. Not many people have complained about the age difference between these two, but the idea of a middle school-aged girl dating a high school senior or college freshman is unsettling. Similarly, the U.S. also has a plethora of depictions of relationships with age gaps. The age of consent varies from state to state. In most states, the age of consent is 16. For some, it’s 17 or 18.
A popular book-turned-TV show that showcased a relationship between a 22-year-old and a 16-year-old is Pretty Little Liars. In the TV show, it was implied that Ezra didn’t know Aria was a teenager when he met her, but he eventually revealed that he knew she was 16 from the beginning. The age difference is problematic in this relationship because Ezra is Aria’s teacher, which adds another dangerous layer to it.
Are Age Gap Relationships Problematic?
The reason relationships like this with a concerning age gap are problematic because one is an adult, and the other is a kid. Kids look up to adults on how to navigate through life. An adult who pursues a teenager for a relationship most likely will confuse the teen about how an adult should behave around them. There are plenty of films that showcase the negative effect of an adult taking advantage of a teenager.
In the film Fish Tank, 15-year-old Mia Williams is taken advantage of by her mom’s adult boyfriend, Conor O’Reily. He has sex with her, unbeknownst to her mother, and leaves the next day. When Mia finds out he’s married with a child, she urinates in their house and throws their daughter in water.
Because Mia is a teen, she could not handle this situation rationally. Some may try to defend relations between adults and teens with consent laws. The age of consent laws varies from one country to another. In the US, consent laws are determined by the state, and in most states, the age of consent is 16. One could argue that if someone who is at least 16 gets into a relationship with someone who is at least 18, it’s perfectly fine.
However, it’s safe to say that most people on an instinctual level know that getting romantically and/or sexually involved with a teenager is wrong. In the 1999 film American Beauty, 42-year-old protagonist Lester Burnham becomes infatuated with his daughter’s friend, Angela Hayes, and the feelings are mutual. He almost has sex with her until she reveals that she is a virgin. Feeling guilty, he stops himself from going further.
Can Relationships With An Age Gap In Fiction Be Defended?
Some may say that some relationships with age gaps are just as valid as relationships between teens or adults. Not every adult is set out to lie to, manipulate, or control someone younger than them. Some think that an adult can genuinely be in love with a person under 18. That argument was made in defense of the 2017 coming-of-age film Call Me By Your Name, which tells a story about a romantic relationship between 17-year-old Elio and a 24-year-old named Oliver.
The story takes place in Italy, where the age of consent is 14, and those in favor of the relationship have said that it’s valid because Elio is well over consent. However, the age of consent still doesn’t mean that an adult should be having a relationship with a teenager. Elio does not handle Oliver leaving him and getting married well. An adult wouldn’t handle this situation well either, but adults typically deal with difficult situations better than teens.
Why Relationships With An Age Gap Shouldn’t Be Encouraged In Media
It is immoral for adults to have a romantic and sexual relationship with teens whose brains and bodies aren’t fully developed. If the relationship goes awry, most likely, the teen will be traumatized by the experience. There’s an inherent power imbalance in this kind of relationship. There is a lot of room for an adult to mistreat or abuse a teenager who knows very little about the world’s dangers. The media has an incredible influence on young people. Teens who witness romanticized relationships between adults and teenagers in the media may think that the relationship is okay for them. Adults must set boundaries between the two age groups and showcase healthy relationships.
