Five Marvel Characters To Bring Home For Thanksgiving (And Five Not To)

Thanksgiving is going to be different for everyone this year. There’s no doubt about it. With questionable safety and the fear of traveling, there are going to be a lot of empty seats around the dinner table come November twenty-sixth. Please do not despair, true believers; I’m here to tell you those seats can be filled. Hypothetically, of course. Marvel characters are some of the most enduring and loved characters of all time. Who’s better to show off at your Thanksgiving dinner than a superhero (or a villain, for you rebels)? But be careful — like many of the best intentions in comics, this could blow up in your face.

With that in mind, here are five Marvel characters to make your Thanksgiving better and five that would probably (literally) destroy your holiday feast.  

Don’t Bring Squirrel Girl: She Might Go Nuts!

One of my oldest and strangest memories of Thanksgiving is the year I ate miniature, chewy turkey legs. Or that’s what I thought they were until my mom corrected me. I was eating squirrel. Apparently, in some places, this is a perfectly acceptable Thanksgiving dish.

If that’s the case, do not, I repeat, do not bring Squirrel Girl, aka Doreen Green, to your holiday gathering. This hero has defeated some of the most powerful beings in the entire Marvel world, from Doctor Doom to Galactus to Thanos. Yeah, not the best idea to bring her to a feast where her best friends are being eaten. 

Bring Spider-Man: Your Friendly Neighborhood Dinner Guest 

Let’s get the obvious choice out of the way. Peter Parker, or Spider-man, is one of the kindest and most wholesome characters in the Marvel Universe. 

At the same time, he is defined by the tragedy of his Uncle Ben’s death, which only makes him value family more. Ever polite and respectful, Peter would be the perfect guest to meet your family. In fact, he is so nice; you could get him to put up your Christmas lights after dinner. C’mon, it’d be easy for him. He could just crawl all over the house, maybe even spin a “Merry Christmas” web on the roof for that extra Yuletide flair.  

Don’t Bring Wolverine: The Best There Is At What He Does…But It Isn’t Very Nice 

Sure, Wolvy is one of the most popular Marvel characters, but he’s a bit ill-tempered for a dinner guest. Unlike the affable Peter Parker, one minor disagreement (as tends to happen at Thanksgiving) and it’ll be, “What did you say, bub?” Additionally, will he be poking his claws around all the dishes to get his food? Do you know where those things have been?

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Literally inside of people, including himself. Not to mention all the mud, blood, guts, toxic waste, and who knows what else those adamantium bacteria farms are covered in. Maybe if you could get him to come in his “disguise” as Patch, he would be a decent choice. A white tuxedo and an eye patch might not be convincing camouflage, but it does make for good conversation, at least.  

Bring Thor: He’s Worthy Of Your Feast

If anyone in the Marvel Universe appreciates a grand feast, it is the mighty Thor. After all, he has been vanquishing enemies across galaxies for millennia, with each victory likely followed by the obligatory glutton-fest of red meat and strong spirits. Get a few (okay, many) ales in him, and he could tell tales of his great deeds and adventures for hours: a solid attribute of any good dinner guest.  

Not only would Thor be entertaining at Thanksgiving, but he would also bring a royal charisma to the table. Even if he considered our holiday to be puny and lacking, he would respectfully partake and thank the hosts for their hospitality. He’d probably say something like, “Odin’s Beard! My thanks for such kingly nourishment, mortals.” Besides, who doesn’t want to try to lift Thor’s hammer?   

Don’t Bring Bruce Banner: You Wouldn’t Like Him When He’s Angry 

Does this entry really need to be explained? Do the words “Hulk, smash!” mean anything to you? It is Thanksgiving and tension is in the air. I’m not saying that Bruce Banner is outspoken by any means, but if the mood gets a bit argumentative around the table, it could be trouble. 

Maybe Bruce would be nice and quiet, and you would all have a pleasant, informative evening (he is a brilliant scientist, too). But he might turn into an unstoppable, raging green monster that obliterates your home and everyone in it. Not a risk you should be willing to take unless you really want to see him “Hulk out,” which would almost certainly be followed by death and destruction.

Hard pass.   

Bring Jennifer Walters, The She-Hulk: A Mean, Green, Lawyer Machine 

If you still have the need for green, the She-Hulk is your gal. After being shot, Jennifer Walters was given an emergency blood transfusion from her cousin, Bruce Banner. This resulted in a similar Hulk-like transformation. However, the toned-down gamma radiation (compared to the Hulk) allows Walters to remain “herself” and in control. Oh, and she is also a practicing lawyer—a damn good one.

Moreover, unlike her ill-tempered cousin, Walters embraces her identity as the She-Hulk rather than constantly clashing with it. Because of this acceptance and milder condition, she can be fun-loving, kind, intelligent, and clever. Just don’t get on her bad side; she is still a super-strong, gamma-radiated being, after all.

Don’t Bring Howard The Duck: A Possible Entrée! 

This one is even more self-explanatory than the Hulk. Never bring someone to a dinner who might be related to the food. Of course, not everyone lives in an ivory tower where duck is served as the main dish. But do you think that he wouldn’t care if there was a turkey on the table instead of a duck? Not likely.

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He’s still a bird! Although he looks like a classic cartoon character, Howard is as real as anyone on this list in the comic book world. If he’s smashed with a piano, only an unfortunate splatter of blood, beak, and feathers will remain. He has feelings too, so don’t bring him to what he would see as a cannibalistic feast. Humans are disgusting.   

Bring Kamala Khan, Ms. Marvel: A Leader For The New Generation 

Living and dealing with family members who love you, but don’t understand you, can be one of the most frustrating things imaginable. Nobody knows this better than Kamala Khan, aka Ms. Marvel, a young Muslim American girl who has to balance super-powered threats with her familial and religious responsibilities. The best part about Ms. Marvel? She’s one of us. She’s a fan. She loves comics and superheroes, but in her world, she has actual superhero role models like Carol Danvers/Captain Marvel, who inspired Kamala after she discovered her shape-shifting powers.

Just from reading her comic adventures so far, Kamala seems like a genuinely fun and endearing person. She inspires hope everywhere she goes. Ms. Marvel is relatively new to the Marvel Universe (she debuted in Captain Marvel #14 in 2013), but she is everything the new generation of heroes should be. Please get to know Kamala Khan and what she is thankful for before heading her own Disney + series next year. 

Don’t Bring Captain America: An Overtly Political Symbol 

I’m going to catch some flak for this one. How can I say it is a bad idea to bring one of the most honest and beloved characters that Marvel has to offer to Thanksgiving dinner? He probably has a legit “what I’m thankful for” speech locked and loaded just for such an occasion. Well, my shockingly naïve friends, it’s simple. He’s too political. Not that Steve Rogers would go out of his way to bring up politics. In fact, he would be an annoyingly, respectful guest.

He would probably say “thank you” after every little gesture, and “ma’am” and “sir” every time he addresses someone. As irritating as that may be, it is not why I think it’s a bad idea to bring him. Captain America is a symbol. And a political one at that. Everyone has their own feelings regarding what that symbol means to them, but beware; there will always be clashing views. No matter how congenial, Cap’s very presence provokes the possibility of political squabbling during a holiday that can nurture conflict. On a more selfish note, he’s too perfect of a specimen. He’d make me look bad. 

Bring The Fantastic Four: The First Family Of Comics 

This one almost feels mandatory. There would be no Marvel Universe of any kind without creating the Fantastic Four by Stan Lee and Jack Kirby back in 1961. I know slapping four characters into one spot on this list is a bit of a cop-out, but their quasi-family unit fundamentally defines them. Plus, they are the perfect guests for any occasion that might have rambunctious children.

Ben Grimm, the Thing, is a big ole teddy bear when it comes to kids. They could keep themselves busy climbing on him for hours. Johnny Storm, the Human Torch, is just a charming guy, especially when he wants to be (other times, he comes off as kind of an arrogant jerk). 

Still, it’s probably best if he doesn’t “flame on” around any leafy centerpieces.  Johnny’s sister and Reed Richards’s wife, Sue, is the invisible woman. Her ability to bend light waves grants her more powers than her name suggests. She can make other things invisible, too, or even create focused invisible constructs, among other things. This might come in handy, making it appear that you ate all your grandma’s “delicious” cranberry sauce. Yuck. 

Finally, you have Reed Richards, or Mr. Fantastic, who can stretch and shape his body in countless ways. He’s also one of the smartest people in the Marvel world, to boot. How easy is it for him to get his plate filled in a crowded room? He could do it all from his chair!  

Characters To Be Thankful For

There it is, ladies and gentlemen. I hope you got a full serving of Marvel characters to imagine bringing (or not bringing) to your Thanksgiving celebration, whatever that may be. It is going to be a difficult holiday season for everyone this year. Maybe the idea of having a few superheroes grace your festivities makes it a bit easier.

I hope so; it does for me. Stay safe, true believers. Excelsior.